Tired

I have spent the last few weeks editing the first two thirds of the novel. I’m just over halfway there. I think that it’s been the most difficult time that I’ve had since commencing this project. The fact that there are 50,000 words is rather daunting in itself. In addition, I find it hard knowing that the remaining third is yet to be written. It’s as if I can’t sleep until I have an entire first draft. I have to get over that. The editing will need to be done at some point; it will require the same amount of time whenever I do it. If I get the first two thirds in better shape the drafting of the last ten chapters should be a little easier.

But it’s more than that. I found the first couple of weeks of the editing process very tiring. The problem wasn’t writers block; it was as if my mind didn’t want to do it. At times, I wasn’t sure that I even enjoyed what I was doing anymore. It was like being a child that doesn’t want to do their homework.

How have I dealt with it? I take a chapter, amend it according to my tutor’s comments and then start editing. The key is to approach it paragraph by paragraph. I literally make myself sit there until I enter that state which is difficult to describe; when the room around you disappears and you are in the world that you are writing about. There were a couple of occasions when I knew that it didn’t matter how much I pushed myself, I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind. There are some days when you really can’t be creative. That’s when I got of the house and went for a run. It really helped.

Now as I compare the second draft to the first I do feel a sense of satisfaction. It’s a slow process but it’s making a difference. Writing is extremely hard work and requires a great deal of determination, self discipline and effort. Never mind the loneliness. I’m tired but the end is in sight and hopefully this will all be forgotten.